He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
