Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
