Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
