I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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