What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
