You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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