Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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