Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
