Moan for me like Helen Keller
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
