We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the condom got lost in my hair
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just blew my weed a kiss
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
God I need to hump something, right now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
