Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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