pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
