The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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