This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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