I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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