If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
