The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize