so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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