i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i will never coherently bang her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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