Do vagina's smell?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
