I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I love you.
Bad choice
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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