it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize