I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
