I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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