Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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