i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize