I'm really into asian looking animals
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I cut my penus on the lid.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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