Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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