i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
