i just wanna soil my oats bro
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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