Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need to sanitize my soul.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
