$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
