i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
