And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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