everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
