I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
