Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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