how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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