So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
