I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
