Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
