I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
