new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
