im drinking this country out of the recession.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
