Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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