i'm lost and i look like a hooker
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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