My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
