By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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