I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
