VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize