He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
