We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
