I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
