YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
zippers are such a cool invention
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
