I hate all girls vehemently.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
