I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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