Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
