In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
