Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Is it penis luge time yet?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize