Ambien. No doubt about it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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