Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
